What to Write on Valentine’s Day Card to Your Wife
I walked into the break room at work and I spotted the bold red heart drawing on the associates’ news board. The drawing read : “Valentine’s Day is on Tuesday. Let’s all wear pink or red.”
In all honesty, Valentine’s Day has mixed feelings for me. On the one hand, I see it as an opportunity to celebrate and affirm the love we have for the special someone in our life. It can also be a reminder of personal loss. Elegant roses, sweet kisses- candy and real- are part of my Valentines Day memory. However, so is my memory of a dark-haired, exquisite guitar playing beauty, who died in a car crash a few days before Valentine’s Day.
In fact, my need to get past personal tragedy and move forward inspired me to write the first two books of my Derek Tawarrior South Africa detective trilogy . On the surface the trilogy is about a haunted warrior detective’s pursuit of a master criminal. However, it’s also about a man’s journey as he deals with the death of the woman he loves and finally opens his heart to another. Opening your heart, this is the key to understanding what those we love mean to us. Once you do that, you ‘ll easily understand what to write on valentine’s card to your wife.
Confront Your Fears
So we have arrived at the matter at hand. To put it simply, we have all had amazing relationships at one time or another in our lives and worried that we may somehow mess it up. If that happened wouldn’t you do anything for a second chance? If you’re reading this perhaps you are in one of those relationships. You are in a great relationship but you’re worried that some misunderstanding in the future might screw the whole thing up. You want to know what to do if that happens. As it turns out, my interest in dealing with trauma extends not only to how a fictional detective deals with tough emotional issues but also to real people managing chronic pain. This has put me in the position to actually give you tips that you can use because it’s time to get a keep the relationship that you deserve. You need to do this:You need to get rid of any fear of commitments. For example, when I wanted to show the tough time that Derek Tawarrior was having finding a kidnapped victim, I wrote:
Derek stared at the photograph, realizing his hope for Katherine Tula’s safe return wasn’t merely a professional concern. It had a personal component to it that he didn’t want to explore; in the color of her hair and eyes, in the expression of quiet mirth that curved her mouth. Katherine Tula reminded him of another young woman, a woman who had been taken and not returned safely to those who loved her.
The message boils down to this: Derek had failed in the past to protect the woman he loved and now was afraid that he was going to fail again. Are you afraid of committing yourself to a new relationship because you have failed in the past? You need to mentally banish any fears of commitment. You need to show what your wife means to you and the commitment you have to her. I wanted to use the act of Derek Tawarrior moving down the stairs of a dark dangerous house to show commitment overcoming fear. It read as follows:
As he moved deeper into the basement, he also seemed to be moving deeper into the disturbing recesses of his subconscious. At the midway point, a mental scream begged him to go back, but the cop in him flogged him onward.
You may be at a point where indeed a mental scream is begging you to go back, but you have to find the strength to commit yourself to the future.
You have to allow yourself to be open more, discuss your feelings and develop a relationship based on trust.
Open Your Heart
When I was in college, many years ago, I had a disturbing conversation with a friend of mine. She told me that one of her gal pals had attempted suicide by trying to slice her own wrist. Fortunately, her pal survived. Still, we were both shocked because her pal had come from a very wealthy family and her father was known to lavish her with gifts “Well, that’s the problem,” my friend told me. “Her father takes his wife on world cruises, and leaves his daughter feeling emotional abandoned. He has absolutely no time for his own daughter and she doesn’t know how to confront him about what she’s feeling. Jesus, it makes me appreciate my dad’s nagging,” she added.
Did everything work out in the end? Well, we are heading to Valentine’s Day. So I’m happy to say after honest and heartfelt discussions, the wealthy father also became an empathic father and opened his ears and heart to his daughter.
So this is what it boils down to:
Open your heart—imagine that the love of your life is angry with you. It’s bad. She’s never been so pissed, and you are scared that your relationship is in big trouble. What would you do? Remember that people in the heat of an argument don’t always stop to listen to each other. Wouldn’t it be nice if she could stop yelling or crying and remember how much she really means to you?
Well, you have a big opportunity to do just that. You should write something like this:
Sweetheart If you’re reading this it means I really screwed up and right now you are angry with me. I wanted you to read this card to remind you that I’m still the same guy you fall in love with. In your own words talk about the special moments or incidents that made you know she was the love of your life. The point is now that you’re in the full glow of love, it’s the perfect time to write down exactly how she makes you feel.
Show the courage of your commitment
Write something that will leave no doubt about your commitment to her. You can be creative, funny, and surprising. The point is to make her stop and remember why she is wearing your ring.
Here is the tricky part. You can give her flowers, candy, kisses, a massage, and anything else she wants, but she is not allowed to read the card. Here’s why. The whole point of the card is to make her remember that even though you might have acted like a jerk, deep down you’re still her prince. You can even make a game out of it and explain that the card is a mystery card and she just has to guess what you wrote. Let her know that when the time comes, she’ll see everything in the card.
The bottom line
Love is a wonderful thing, but misunderstandings can happen and derail even the best of relationships. For a great future tomorrow, understand today what to write on Valentine’s Day card to your wife.
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